We the Children Declaration of Independence
We The Children of Two Hundred Argyle Road, in order to form a more perfect household, establish justice, insure domestics tranquility, provide for the common defense against intolerable punishments set forth by the parents, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this declaration for the Brethel Household of Floral Park.
We do hereby find the following acts intolerable:
The Profanity Tax
The Unpersonable Tax
The Fine for a Messy Room
The withholding of allowance due to disobedience Act
The Talking-Back Tax
The Loss of Computer Privileges Act
And for depriving us, in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury when accused of Various Acts of Disobedience such as, Lying, Stealing, Peeking at Presents, Eavesdropping, With-holding of the fact that we have a test the following day, etc.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all children are created equal, that they are entitled to certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and the right to protest against unfair taxes, acts, fines, and should not be punished for actions that parents feel deserve punishment. When both Brethel children vote to overrule these unfair and intolerable acts, fines, etc., the parents cannot overrule or veto the decision of the children.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of ourselves against unjustifiable punishments, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our ability to override those who think they are running this household. We are breaking free from the oppressive regime of the parents and do hereby form our own household rules to live by.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A monarch, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free household.
We do but humbly demand the freedom of speech, of the press, and the rights of the Brethel children to peaceably assemble when wanting to revolt against the Royal Parental Crown, and to petition the parents for a redress of grievances when wrongfully or unfairly punished.
We do hereby declare ourselves free and independent from the Parental Crown, and that all political connection between the Parental Crown and our independent state, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Free and Independent State, we have full Power to do as we please and note feel the constant threat of the loss of our money, freedom, and leisure activities.
Done in convention by the unanimous consent of the state present the second day of August in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Fifteen and of the independence of the Brethel Household of Floral Park, in the state of New York belonging to The United States of America
In witness whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names,
Samantha R. Brethel
Kevin J. Brethel
Originally written in 2006. Revised 2015.
